It’s Not The Looks, Nor The Money; Here’s What She’s Really Looking For In A Man

18 July 2017
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Have you ever walked by a couple and thought, “That guy MUST be sh*tloaded.”?

There are plenty of guys out there that date out of their league – some way, way out of their league. And yes, some of them are millionaires, and others were horses in a past life, but many of these guys are what you’d call average. Subjectively. Or at least they appear to be to outsiders.

The fact is that no one ever really dates outside of their league. The issue is that most of us don’t understand how to properly calculate what league people belong in – themselves included. We often take a look at a person, take their measurements, look at their symmetry, their sexual appeal, and we place them into a league. Truly, there is way more to attract than the way someone looks on the outside. Sure, some of us are very shallow individuals, and look for nothing more than a pretty face and a tight ass. The problem with this is that we inevitably become unhappy with the relationship.

How? Sooner or later that ‘goodlooking’ layer wears off, and we will get to know him or her for who he or she truly is. They may be attractive on the outside, but everything else about them – their character, their beliefs, their dreams, their lifestyle – isn’t up to pair. That’s why someone can look perfect on paper, but is incompatible with you. All of a sudden, that ten becomes a five. What’s important to remember is a man or woman that looks like a ten, could actually be in a much lower league. Just as someone who looks like a five in appearance, could actually be what you call a diamond in the rough.

So when you’re seeing that happy couple consisting of an incredibly beautiful woman and an average guy – or vice versa – they’re most likely in the same league. They probably have the same norms and values – hopes and dreams – suitably aligned. However, ever since cavemen times we have developed a certain kind of preference (determined by our DNA) – that is – that we ought to put traits such like strength, virility, and likelihood of survival high in our standards.

Yet, nothing is more attractive to a woman then a man who’s successful. Just to be precisely: NOT in cash. But in whatever he undertakes. A man who can take her out and show her the world, what pushes her buttons more than anything, is a man who she believes will stay atop of the food chain – giving her new adventures and experiences.

In the end, everyone wants to lead a happy life and look for that compatible – Bonnie-to-my-Clyde – partner. So next time when you meet a guy “don’t judge the book by its cover”. And it’s really not about the big things, but the details.

As always, xx V.

Picture by: Visual Creature

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  • W. 18 July 2017 at 11:23

    And this is exactly why one should be happy and content with oneself before they start dating. People unhappy with themselves usually project this around them, which will make them bitter and misguided.

  • Bart Sevenhuijsen 18 July 2017 at 16:19

    I agree with your column.
    It’s very important to share this message because we decide too quickly and makes us superficial.
    Give yourself time and you’ll meet the right one.