Lifestyle

You’re Not Afraid Of The Future, But You’re Scared Of Repeating The Past

16 December 2016
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L I F E.

An immense irrational rollercoaster – which, I believe will continuously challenge you. There might not be many of us who have the courage to admit this, but life is scary. A journey that dares you to face your own falters – vulnerabilities – and puts a mirror in front of you. For some of us, fear causes us to search, to create, grow and connect. For others – to lash out, maim and destroy. Some just spend their entire lives running away from it to only spend their lives living in it.

Today, I know myself better then anyone else – what I want, who I am and what I have to offer. But this hasn’t always been the case. I use to linger in my own negative thoughts – thoughts I know now are all subjective, created by my past. A past that took me to places darker then I’ve ever encountered, a weight heavier then I could carry.


“Depression is my Saturday mornings turning into Mondays and Mondays evolving into impossible. It is the ringing of an alarm every hour of the day. It is the sun rising while darkness sets in the stomach. It is my body is awake but my mind is tired with heaviness. It is having too much to carry, even when my arms appear empty. Depression is not a beautiful sadness tied together with a whisky filled mind and a mouth hollow from too many cigarettes. It’s not a bed of roses. It’s not romantic nor kind. It’s the snake in the bush that watching you building yourself up again piece-by-piece for him to then attack you again.”  (25 November, 2013 )


A piece I wrote three years ago – remarkably the last sentence. Where I express my fear for the future, making it holding me back. The past weighs heavily upon many of us. We often come to see it as a burden – something we must carry along with us everywhere we go. The past was a point in time, an exit we either took or missed. Let go of the past. Because the truth is, you don’t need it. Let alone, bringing it into the future – making the same mistakes.

The key is to letting each situation be what it is instead of what you think it should be. Sometimes we fall down because there is something down there we’re supposed to find. And don’t look at fear as something negative. Fear is meant to help you. So, fear your past. Let it move you. Allow it to make you try new things, to do things you never imagined. Let it drive you towards something better, something that makes you truly happy.

As always, xx V.

Fashion

J A S M I N E

29 November 2016
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Fall has arrived and the autumn leaves are changing their vivid colours. Lately, I’ve been noticing all the little things – how beautiful the yellow toned leaves fall gracefully – or how the sunset dew sets around late noon. It’s always such a setback to change seasons, especially from warm to cold. But instead of feeling like that, I’ve tried to change my thoughts around it – and once I’ve accepted it – it’s so cosy and romantic. You just want to be around all those special people and spread love like there’s no tomorrow. Cause, hey! It’s VERY cold this autumn, so we better keep one another loved up!

32-copyMerlot red, who doesn’t like it? Doesn’t matter what skin tone you are, it gives everyone this gorgeous warm blushed tone. Todays off-shoulder top reminds me of Jasmine from Aladdin due to the flared cutting, and who doesn’t LOVE Jasmine? Not me! I really wanted to create a romantic and soft look – therefor I have chosen to wear a pink flushed culotte. By combining the sexy top with a more conserved pantalon, the look will appear more sophisticated and stylish. And it might be a bit too cold for the stilettos, I simply couldn’t resist not taking them! Nudes for LIFE! 1

Wishing you all an UTMOST beautiful day!

MISSGUIDED Bardot Crop Top  |  TOPSHOP Culotte  |  BARONG BARONG Earrings

PUBLIC DESIRE Perspex High Heels  |  CÉLINE Grained Calfskin Belt-bag

Pictures by: Visual Creature

Lifestyle

Why We ALWAYS Choose The Bad Boy Instead Of The Nice Guy

9 October 2016
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I have failed miserably finding myself a partner – and I am TOTALLY taking the blame. Despite my utterly strong intuition, me – as well as many – rather choose excitement over safety. Until you find yourself hurt because he was just another inconsiderate assh*le. The point is that nice guys somewhat have a bad rap. (No, I’m not talking about self-proclaimed “nice guys” who use politeness as currency for sex – I mean actual kind men).

It’s really a shame, considering that truly nice guys are actually hubby material. Nonetheless, they’re almost always ignored or turned down, overlooked and unwanted. Instead, women will go for the badass – the jerk. A woman will go for the “man of mystery” who will never let her get close enough to truly know. Once we mature and realize what is and isn’t important in life and in a relationship, the nice guy will suddenly become infinitely more appealing. But until then, we actually don’t know shit. And here’s why >>


Girls think that the badass is the diamond in the rough…

…until they realize that “badass” usually translates into “jackass.”
And boy oh boy, are there so MANY jackasses in this world. Women, like men, want excitement in their lives. Women also want someone rare, unique and special. Everybody does. People want what others don’t have because they make them feel special. And since Mom and Dad managed to convince us we’re special, we expect to stay that way. Women don’t want the nice guy because “nice” sounds a lot like “average.” It’s good, not great; fine, not amazing. Or, at least, that’s how most of us feel. However, after meeting and dating enough men, most women will realize one thing: It’s much easier to find a jackass. Unfortunately, this realization usually comes after years and years of dating assh*les and turning down the nice guys. But nice guys get turned down so often that they start to believe being a badass is the way to go. Same goes out to women, the nice ones will eventually turn into bitches after yet meeting another douchebag – as I’ve seen it with my own eyes.


The nice guy is the one girls will seek once they’ve made enough mistakes.

In times of Tinder – forget about personality. You’re supposed to decide, by looking only at a couple of photos and some generic information, whether or not you are interested in someone. If you think about it, it’s actually really ludicrous; nonetheless it’s really hard to find the person that is compatible to you. So, briefly talking, dating anno 2016 is so superficial – and the volume is so big – that you start jumping in the ocean of love and finding yourself rejecting the people you aren’t meant to date. You will undoubtedly learn more about yourself, what you like and don’t like. The risk you took or the mistakes you made, and after experiencing a HEAP of failures – I can guarantee you that you will start playing safe again.


When the nice guy is surprisingly spontaneous and exciting after all

Women assume that jerks will make for a more exciting relationship. And, to be completely honest, this is often the case. Sometimes nice guys are a bit too nice. They’re guessing that kindness is something all women want. But that’s not true – no one wants ‘just’ that. Everyone wants to feel more. We want to be intrigued and surprised. I completely agree that the badass guys make a more exciting relationship – but this definitely NOT in a positive way. The assh*le will make you feel bad about yourself and convince you that what you’re feeling is love, when in reality it’s far from it. So what’s the point?

I genuinely believe that any relationship can be exciting – the good kind of exciting – and YES, even with the nice guy. Once he’s at ease and opens up, you will undoubtedly unfold his wittiness and other great qualities. Thus, for all relationships: you need to work – as what you give is what you get, and it’s not just up to the fellas to make the relationship more exciting. We are also responsible for putting effort in sculpturing the relationship into something fun and beautiful!

As always, xx V.

Picture by: Visual Creature

Fashion

MARGUERITE BLANCHE

6 October 2016
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Summer glow, velvet skies

 The bloom of summerlight – it makes me feel romantic, like lovers wandering through the limelight of Paris. For the ones that know me, my style is usually inspired by my mood. And lately I have been feeling utterly flourished, this often calls for a minimal style with a feminine touch.

53Off shoulders are hotter than ever, the contrast of elegant and sexy portraits something indulging. Sophisticated. I fell in love with this striped black and white jumpsuit as soon as I laid my eyes on it. The cold shoulder combined with the lines – reflects a chic yet playful look – making this one-piece suitable for many occasions. A fun rendezvous or simply a posh night out with the girls! To me, the jumpsuit on its own felt quite monotone – so I added some playful colours in there! That’s more like me, especially with the warm summer colours – yellow and orange. And lastly, the statement earrings – I just simply couldn’t resist the dainty turquoise colour!

2fbWishing you all an utmost stunning day!

TOPSHOP Jumpsuit & Earrings

NEWLOOK Heeled Wedges | CHLOÉ Marcie Python Bag

Pictures by: Visual Creature

Lifestyle

Never Settle: If He Doesn’t Blow You Away, Here’s Why:

1 October 2016
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Only once in my life, I’d been crazily – head over heels – in love with a guy. He made my wings fly, it was like being in a dream – but it was actually real. Every cheesy love song or beautiful poem, I could relate to every single word. But such like many; it was my ‘one that got away’, sadly. The one you thought you would spend your future with. After that, my whole being changed and ever since; there haven’t been many people who can blow me away.

Now three years later, I’ve learned to be independent and I’ve grown to appreciate relying on just myself. Being alone strengthens you, and it allows for a particular sort of drive: the drive to live your life in a particular way that only you can construct. Being single seems to define “freedom.” But freedom is overrated. We like the idea of having no responsibilities – until we realize that a life without responsibility has no purpose. If there is one thing I can tell you guys about my experience in love; it’s that if you find a mediocre partner and have a mediocre love, and you’ll find yourself with a mediocre life. But if you find a partner that makes you feel alive, gets the best out of you and challenges you, you will have a fantastic love, and an AMAZING life.


“When it isn’t the one – you’ll always be looking for something better”

People are restless; you’ll be looking for greener grass before you know it. Especially in 2016 where the options are endless – and finding the ‘perfect’ one often seem impossible. What I’ve noticed around me is that people settle for what feels safe – they treat them right, but there are no real butterflies. And yes, the social pressure is real, especially for (Asian) women. Sometimes settling is an acceptable option, if you realize that the chances of finding someone greater aren’t worth risking the possibility of being alone. So what happens if you settle too soon? You reap what you sow, one day and you’ll admit to yourself that your choice was not enough to make you happy. Being together with someone shouldn’t only be steady and bearable. They should be synergistic and improving your quality of life. Honestly, life will end one day – things won’t always be easy, because that’s life. And when it’s ticking towards the end, the only thing keeping you sane is the person you’re sharing your life with.


“If your partner doesn’t blow you away, it isn’t real”

Being blown away is subjective and personal. If your partner doesn’t inspire and amaze you, you’ll come to realize that you don’t need him or her in your life. You don’t need the smartest, sexiest, most incredible individual. You don’t need the person everyone’s chasing. You don’t need someone who’s perfect; you need someone that’s perfect for you. You need someone who will make you feel most like yourself – not the self that you parade in front of the rest of the world, but the person you know yourself to be. Someone who appreciates you for who you really are — and, just as importantly, loves you through all of it.

 

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“Life is too short to settle for something less than spectacular”

So, you’ve experiences a loving relationship before. You start dating again and you’ve figured that your date doesn’t blow you away, it’s unlikely you’ll be willing to settle. In fact, if you aren’t blown away by someone, you won’t be capable of falling in love with him or her. That’s what love is. I believe love catches you by surprise, and when you encounter it – you will be shocked how right it feels, right from the start. Acknowledge it and be devoted – appreciate it. If this isn’t the case, accept that something is missing and move on. It’s best not to waste time, as you never know how much of it you have. But when you look at your partner and understand that you’ve found the missing piece, then you, my friend, are one of the luckiest individuals in the world.

I can promise you all one thing – whenever you meet him or her, they will undoubtedly rock your world. You will be blown away like there is no tomorrow. And it’s going to be incredible. Just be patient!

As always,
xo xo V.

Fashion

D A K O T A

27 September 2016
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J O Y.

“She danced until the sun came up – her hair was wild, as her velvet lips marked the cigarette she smoked. Her being was tied together with a whisky filled mind and a mouth hollow from one too many cigarettes. A dainty mess, but how raw she was. Humming – singing songs of Bob Dylan and Johnny Cash as her lips would gently curl up.”

How excited I am to share my new chapter with you guys, finally after writing for several years I am going to pursuit my dream of writing a novel. I can’t believe it, as I’m surprising myself with it (!) – never thought of becoming a writer when I was a kiddo. Yet, the beautiful way of writing stories, selecting the perfect words, intrigue me – makes me fall in love. A little spoiler above. My book will be a modern philosophical roman – reflecting the rawness of love and life. Any inspiration is welcome, so if you have a mindblowing story – please don’t hesitate to message me! :)) Everything is more then welcome! ♡

2 Todays outfit is undoubtedly one of my favourite looks! This one piece is so extremely convenient, especially when I’m in a rush or lacking inspiration. It’s both chic and sophisticated due to the flared legs and the accentuated waistline. Also when it comes to navy, it’s always good. I’ve once written an article about how people percept you – this inspired by the colour you’re wearing. So, apparently if you wear navy – you look trustworthy and reliable. Sounds like a win-win situation if you ask me! To make my outfit more fun I’m wearing a choker that matches beautifully with my burgundy red bag! And shoes? Well, as ALWAYS – killer stiletto’s ;))

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Wishing you all a stunning day!

ZARA Jumpsuit & Heels | MICHAEL KORS Daniella Bag

Pictures by: Visual Creature

Lifestyle

Science say: Couples who get drunk together stay (LONGER) together

30 August 2016
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YALLA! Let’s hang the flags out, because there is AMAZING news. I’m pleating guilty for this matter, not that I’m an alcoholic but I sure enjoy my drunken – fearless, alter ego ‘Bonnie’ (apparently my new nickname). I become extremely jovial and carefree, the thing is – after a long day, a glass of wine alleviate stress, soften socially awkward situations, and it might even help you to lose weight. Win-win situation if you ask me. But now researchers are claiming it can even make your marriage happier, healthier, and longer-lasting. So, what’s the story?

In a study published in the Journals of Gerontology: Psychology Sciences, couples who drank together stayed together longer. Reuters reports that after surveying nearly 3,000 couples that had been married for an average of 33 years, researchers found that couples who drank together were better off than those marriages where only one partner drank. What’s more, couples where one person does all the drinking were much more prone to marital problems — especially if the woman was the one boozing while her husband sat by, sober. “We’re not sure why this is happening,” study author Dr. Kira Birditt of the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor told Reuters Health, “but it could be that couples that do more leisure time activities together have better marital quality.” Sounds like some pretty good relationship goals. However, when neither parties drink the chances of a good marriage is also very much guaranteed. But perhaps just a little bit less fun!

So guys, I am TOTALLY signing up to be drunk in love. Plus, I believe that it’s important to be compatible with your partner in crime and to have CRAZY fun together, just like Bonnie and Clyde. Fall in love with the person who enjoys your madness. Not an idiot who forces you to be normal!

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Time to pop some bottles love birds!

Picture by: Anne van Luin Photography

Fashion

Neta Lee

22 July 2016
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I am – often ends with an adjunctive. “I am Vivien” or “I am a writer”, when saying this you are stating the obvious. But when you only say – I am – you can be everything you decide to be. Which I deeply believe you can, positive thinking is more than just a tagline. What we think, we become. It changes the way we behave. When I am positive, it not only makes me better, but it also makes those around me better. Sounds like a good begin of the week right?

532Being classy is when you have everything to flaunt, yet you choose not to – that’s when you look refined and sophisticated. Lately I have been obsessed with good trousers – high waist, skinny fit, flared – you name it. I take it! The urbane yet chic look of it is suitable for many occasions, whether it’s posh or casual. As the summer light is giving us golden glows and romantic vibes. It was time to get my white-laced crop top out and to match it with some fun stripes! Some turquoise earrings to give it some extra character and of course, my snake print killerheels!

4Wishing you all an utmost beautiful day!

VINTAGE Earrings | MICHAEL KORS Bradshaw Watch

ZARA Pantalon & Shoes | Pictures by: Visual Creature

Lifestyle

My ultimate #BUCKETLIST

1 June 2016
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I feel like time has been sneaking out on me – stealing my years with the speed of light. As the last four years felt like a wink of an eye, I decided to make a bucket list for myself – as I live by the motto: live fast, die young. You never know as today is a gift and tomorrow might be a mystery.

I’d rather have an extraordinary life filled with crazy memories then playing safe and living the mediocrity. Like they say: “It is better to live one day as a lion than 100 years as a sheep.” I crave adventure and adrenaline as it fulfils my lust in life. Everyone dies, but not everyone lives – how I would blame myself if I’m old and regret all the things I didn’t do. I want to smile like there is no tomorrow, and cry like there is no tomorrow. Learn new hobbies and not care if I make a fool out of myself, as long as I laughed and was witty enough to be me. Knowing that I am able to dream opens up my perspective – to look further than where I am today and to know that life is full of surprises; ones that I am sure will knock me off of my feet. Are you guys ready to read my most epic 30 bucket list points? Here they go >>

  1. Be in the Guinness Book of Records with a talent I haven’t discover yet
  2. Crowd surfing from an INSANE stage and not break a bone
  3. Get a tattoo right under my boobs, RIRI style
  4. Go diving and make a #selfie with a fish (and tag him on Facebook with the name Fred)
  5. Going to ‘Burning Men’ and totally live like a nomad
  6. Purchase my DREAM car, a1959 Cadillac de Ville and be total BADASS
  7. Learn the African tribe dance and attend a tribe wedding
  8. Write a science fiction book that hopefully will become a bestseller
  9. Skydiving – doesn’t matter where, as long as I do it before I’m too old
  10. Spending a day on a rented Airbnb Island (if that exist)
  11. I would LOVE to learn how to drum like a true master – think: Metallica
  12. Jump off a waterfall and scream – Hakuna matata
  13. Grow my hair until my bottom and cut it off to give to charity
  14. Bathe in the style of Dagobert Scrooge McDuck ($$$)
  15. Climb the Kilimanjaro and pretend like I am not dying
  16. Learn to read the stars and then give the brightest one a name
  17. Have cooking class and become the best wife/ chef EVER
  18. Men. I would so totally love to sleep in an igloo
  19. Record a song and make the most epic video clip to show my grandchildren
  20. Always wanted to cave my name in a tree, you know like Pocahontas
  21. Adopt a child from distance and provide him or her a bright future
  22. Cliff jumping somewhere beautiful when sunset hits
  23. View the beauty of earth in a spaceship from space
  24. Tossing pizza dough in the air like a true BOSS
  25. Make my own signature cocktail and call it “Vivi la vida loca”
  26. Dress up like a men for a day and pretend like I am Don Draper
  27. Fly through Amsterdam with a Jetpack AND helmet – like Ironmen but cooler (!)
  28. Drop everything and move to Hawaii to become an English teacher
  29. Eat, pray and love. Somewhere in Myanmar – become a shaolin monk and be totally ZEN
  30. Have my own talk show one day so I can tell the whole audience that they are getting a free car – Oprah Winfrey style

As always, much love,
xo xo V.

Fashion

Ivy Grey

26 May 2016
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As I wondered through a valhalla of vintage today – the feeling of bliss hit me – it felt like a getaway. While browsing through many scruffy things I knew I would find a stunner of an item somewhere. For the ones that know me well, I adore everything that is retro – my close friends usually joke about me being born in the wrong time. Which is actually very true, as then I started to question myself – why do I like it so much? I think this reflects the first sentence beautifully, it feels like a getaway – you can clock yourself out of 2016 and flee to a place, which was full of character. Where songs had meanings – women were upon exquisite and no one was scared to die of one too many Lucky Strikes. As sorrows would be rinsed away with a glass of Old Fashioned on ice and everyone was dressed upon dainty. How could you not love the raw yet perfect image of that?

443333Killer gladiator heels! I am still totally convinced that these are my big-time combat shoes. If I would ever end up in a scene like ‘Bad Blood’ (T-Swift) these would be the perfect shoes to prosecute my Chuck Norris flying kick with. Ha! More about that next time! Todays outfit is actually very simple, a knitted pearl grey turtleneck – long enough to wear as a dress or with a stunning pair of flared trousers. It’s so modest yet so flawless, definitely one of my favourite pieces! To match the pastel palette I have chose for an easy crème coloured tote bag. Also because the shoes are already so outspoken, I didn’t wanted to overdo it – and final little detail: the perfect pair of vintage earrings from my mother.

33Wishing you all a beautiful day, don’t forget to smile!

TOPSHOP Turtleneck | MISSGUIDED Gladiator Heels

MICHAEL KORS Colette Watch | TIFFANY & CO. Bracelet

CÉLINE Belt Bag | Pictures by: Visual Creature