Only once in my life, I’d been crazily – head over heels – in love with a guy. He made my wings fly, it was like being in a dream – but it was actually real. Every cheesy love song or beautiful poem, I could relate to every single word. But such like many; it was my ‘one that got away’, sadly. The one you thought you would spend your future with. After that, my whole being changed and ever since; there haven’t been many people who can blow me away.
Now three years later, I’ve learned to be independent and I’ve grown to appreciate relying on just myself. Being alone strengthens you, and it allows for a particular sort of drive: the drive to live your life in a particular way that only you can construct. Being single seems to define “freedom.” But freedom is overrated. We like the idea of having no responsibilities – until we realize that a life without responsibility has no purpose. If there is one thing I can tell you guys about my experience in love; it’s that if you find a mediocre partner and have a mediocre love, and you’ll find yourself with a mediocre life. But if you find a partner that makes you feel alive, gets the best out of you and challenges you, you will have a fantastic love, and an AMAZING life.
“When it isn’t the one – you’ll always be looking for something better”
People are restless; you’ll be looking for greener grass before you know it. Especially in 2016 where the options are endless – and finding the ‘perfect’ one often seem impossible. What I’ve noticed around me is that people settle for what feels safe – they treat them right, but there are no real butterflies. And yes, the social pressure is real, especially for (Asian) women. Sometimes settling is an acceptable option, if you realize that the chances of finding someone greater aren’t worth risking the possibility of being alone. So what happens if you settle too soon? You reap what you sow, one day and you’ll admit to yourself that your choice was not enough to make you happy. Being together with someone shouldn’t only be steady and bearable. They should be synergistic and improving your quality of life. Honestly, life will end one day – things won’t always be easy, because that’s life. And when it’s ticking towards the end, the only thing keeping you sane is the person you’re sharing your life with.
“If your partner doesn’t blow you away, it isn’t real”
Being blown away is subjective and personal. If your partner doesn’t inspire and amaze you, you’ll come to realize that you don’t need him or her in your life. You don’t need the smartest, sexiest, most incredible individual. You don’t need the person everyone’s chasing. You don’t need someone who’s perfect; you need someone that’s perfect for you. You need someone who will make you feel most like yourself – not the self that you parade in front of the rest of the world, but the person you know yourself to be. Someone who appreciates you for who you really are — and, just as importantly, loves you through all of it.
“Life is too short to settle for something less than spectacular”
So, you’ve experiences a loving relationship before. You start dating again and you’ve figured that your date doesn’t blow you away, it’s unlikely you’ll be willing to settle. In fact, if you aren’t blown away by someone, you won’t be capable of falling in love with him or her. That’s what love is. I believe love catches you by surprise, and when you encounter it – you will be shocked how right it feels, right from the start. Acknowledge it and be devoted – appreciate it. If this isn’t the case, accept that something is missing and move on. It’s best not to waste time, as you never know how much of it you have. But when you look at your partner and understand that you’ve found the missing piece, then you, my friend, are one of the luckiest individuals in the world.
I can promise you all one thing – whenever you meet him or her, they will undoubtedly rock your world. You will be blown away like there is no tomorrow. And it’s going to be incredible. Just be patient!
xo xo V.